168 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
Executable file
168 lines
4.6 KiB
Plaintext
Executable file
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
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- B. L. Taylor
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Oh gracious, why wasn't I born old and ugly?
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- Dickens
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Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand
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can turn out a good article on it.
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- M. Twain
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A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
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- S. Goldwyn
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"Classic." A book which people praise and don't read.
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- M. Twain
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Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
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- Benjamin Franklin
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening
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to someone else.
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- Will Rogers
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
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- Groucho Marx
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One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie
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is that a cat has only nine lives.
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- M. Twain
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Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?
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It is because we are not the person involved.
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- M. Twain
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%%
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When angry, count four;
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when very angry, swear.
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- M. Twain
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A perfect vacuum exists only in the minds of men.
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- P. H. Beck
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Those whose courses are different cannot lay plans for one another.
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- Confucian Analects Bk. 15:39
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Learning without thought is labor lost;
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thought without learning is perilous.
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- Confucian Analects Bk. 2:15
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The falsely dramatic drives out the truly dull.
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- Gennerat's Law
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Our universe is simply one of those things that happen from time to time.
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- Edward Tryon
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When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains,
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however improbable, must be the truth.
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- Sherlock Holmes
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admiration, n.
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Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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bore, n.
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A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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%%
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coward, n.
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One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
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- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
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Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
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- Simeon Strunsky
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To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.
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- Confucian Analects, Bk. 11:15,iii
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He who speaks without modesty will find
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it difficult to make his words good.
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- Confucian Analects, Bk. 14:21
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Heaven and earth are not humane.
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They regard all things as straw dogs.
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- Lao Tzu
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He who knows others is wise.
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He who knows himself is enlightened.
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- Lao Tzu
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He who knows does not speak.
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He who speaks does not know.
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- Lao Tzu
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To know that you do not know is the best.
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To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.
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- Lao Tzu
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Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.
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- Theophrastus
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You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.
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- Publilius Syrus
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If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
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- Sir Isaac Newton
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The probability of someone watching you is
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proportional to the stupidity of your action.
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- A. Kindsvater
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The various forms of worship, which prevailed in the Roman world,
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were all considered by the people as equally true; by the philosopher,
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as equally false; and by the magistrate, as equally useful.
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- Edward Gibbon, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire"
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%%
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Of course you realize this means war!
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- Bugs Bunny
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The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;
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and the pessimist fears this is true.
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- James Branch Cabell
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Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
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- From the "Notebooks of Lazarus Long" by Robert Heinlein
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Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
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- W. Somerset Maugham
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Life is a continuing series of multiple-choice questions, with the answers
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torn out of the back of the book.
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- Sydney J. Harris
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There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what
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the Universe is for and why it is here. it will instantly disappear and
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be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
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There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
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- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the end of the Universe"
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%%
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The following sentence is false.
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The preceding sentence is true.
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%%
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A well-frog cannot imagine the ocean, nor can a
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summer insect conceive of ice. How can a scholar
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understand the Tao? He is restricted by his own
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learning.
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- Chung-tse
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%%
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panic: can't spare any memory for you today.
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!XINIM ni deppart m'I !pleH
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panic: page segment violation
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panic: not enough memory (hey, I've got some very cheap 41256's for you)
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Heaven wheels above you
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Displaying to you eternal glories
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And still your eyes are on the ground.
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- Dante
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When the mind is disturbed, the multiplicity of things is
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produced, but when the mind is quieted, the multiplicity
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of things disappears.
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- Ashvaghosha, "The Awakening of Faith.
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%%
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